Sunday, November 18, 2007

System Down....Resume, Restart, Ignore???

Its been ages and ages since i last visited my own page what more to say write in it...

Life has been very very super dooper busy this past few months with my studies and ministries to think of and i barely had the chance to go online..not when unnecessary...

Alas, my house mates decided to install our our internet in every room for those interested and its quite okay for the price we're paying..

I really do not know where to start my story..I'm afraid i do not know where to stop..haha..

I'm very happy..it's almost the end of the year and it means it's almost Christmas and 2007 is coming to an end...approaching 2008 soon..which makes me wonder what have I done in/with my LIFE this whole while...was it meaningful? did i make myself useful to others and especially to GOD my creator??

I have a lot of things going on in my mind right now..Gosh..I hate it...BRAIN DISORDER.

Friday, April 20, 2007

missing the days where i dont have to think what to wear in the morning....

woke up early today...4am++... turned off both my handphones so that the alarm set the night earlier wouldnt bother me and anyone else...

saat teduh beb..continued reading my carsinoma in the esophagus and proceed reading with the current philosophy book im reading now...Sophie's World....

gosh its already 650am...gotta get ready for class...damn...blurrrr...dunno what to wear..blank kejap lagi...korek2 dalam wardrobe..jumpe baju antioni itam coklet...sauk je laaaaa

gilerrr blurrr skang...how i miss the days when i wake up in the morning and tak payah pikir nak pakai aper..sauk je uniform skolah..wakakakak...during those time nak sgt pakai baju bebas..and then now?padannnn mukeeeeee.....

waiting for Dr Nurman in class...lambat betol la pak cik tua ni...if i were to go out and get sumthing to eat, tau2 plak dier masuk ader chan kene halau nieh...

life has been very busy lately.i do not want to make it even more complicated..tgh dalam relationship...harap2 tak makin pening lagi kepala macam zaman muda2 dulu...kuang kuang kuang...

seeing a lot of people who do not know what to do with their lifes...apsal tak buno diri je??

tobat la wei..peace...


Monday, January 29, 2007

Macam Cilake

well...tgh sakit ati nih...tapi dalam tahap terkontrol lah....maybe dalam post kali ni i'll be a little bit harsh..just a little....

FLASH BACK 3 WEEKS AGO....

The results for my Growth n Dev exam were out. I got a C... I decided to see the lecturer(s) involved. The Prof can't do anything, so i met the Dr R, the secretary the next day.
It turned out that the marks were all mixed up..so i just asked for a simple favor, " Please recheck all these". Oh ya i forgot to mention that i was with a few students in that room.......

So the Dr took the papers published earlier n yes she did the recheck. It cam out last week. I got a B. And most of the jumbled n mixed up marks were corrected...

The main story.......After the results were out...I was unaware or buat-buat tak tau about all the dramas happening around me.I'm sure that when there is jubilation, there is also dissappointments. Although my religion does'nt agree with the philosophy of yin and yang...i kinda think that that is what happens in my case...

TODAY

To make the story short, they are some bastards n bitches yang x puas hati with me (that's what i heard though)...Hey..accept the fact that u will always get what u deserve...Kalau dah benda tu bukan markah kau pada awalnya..dari dari sejak semulanya itu mmg bukan markah kau...Susah sangat ke nak terima kenyataan dan kebenaran? Bila time lain, boleh pulak pikir pasal dosa, haram, halal and whatever else u believe in...but when it comes to this...Ko still nak ngaku tu result kau ke? Mana hilang haram, halal n dosa kau? Pelik ya... religion has become something that you can choose...Bila time nak guna agama...guna....Hey wait..apakah agama itu satu hal yang main-main?

Back to my so called 'friends' ni tadi...Nak puas hati ke tak puas hati ke mampus koranglah. Yang aku tau, aku nak result sebenar yang keluar. If you think that what I did is wrong dan sesuatu itu adalah DOSA, silakan jumpa. My handphone is always ON and I will make time kalau betul aku yang SALAH.....

To make things worse...Today i'm fasting....I needed a whole truck of patience in me right now...Dah la tgh pose, pasti sakit ati plak orang buat mcm ni... Taik la weyyy.....Sabar jek la..

I really don't like being around some bunch of mini-micro brain MALAYSIANS yang luar macam cilake, kat dlm pon cam cilake...sangat old-skul dalam pemikiran dan pandangan.In all, call me a friend chooser and i admit that in my previous posts...i keep good friends close and buang yang SAMPAH...Let rubbish decompose and rot all the way....

p/s: ader gak bebudak who thanked me pasal result diorang naik...so far takde budak2 yang thanked me pasal result dier turun n got what he/she deserve. kalo ada aku belanja kat The Buffet, CL karena aku hargai HARGA DIRI KO YANG TINGGI...But in reality, looks like jimat lah duit RP 45k aku...WAHAHAHAHAHA





Monday, January 08, 2007

Happy 2007?

well well..pejam celik,celik pejam dah new year... my resolution this year? talk less..listen more...

dah tua-tua ni selalu je terasa/mengenang masa muda-muda...did i use my time wisely or was i being used?chewahhh, ngeri gile jadi dewasa ni..pikir pon dah aneh2...which is what i'm doing lately...asek pikir je benda2 around me..i mean EVERYTHING...i hate being around a crowded place...i hate the ignorancy of others...i feel lost in confusion n trying to understand..it absorbs most of my energy and strength...sebab tu la aku asek sakit-sakit je. mak pon dah bising sebab aku asek ngadu sakit..all this while aku la antara manusia yang jarang sakit n kalau sakit pon mesti cepat sembuh...

I used to scare people around me. sebab tu kot my previous relationship didn't last long. Pasal takut kat aku jadi PSYCO, selalu sangat takutkan dia..wahahaha...but honestly, mmg susah pon nak cari orang yang betul-betul paham ko sampai ke dalam-dalam akar benih hati.. NOW, i'm pretty scared of myself...Why?

1.Time orang cakap aku kritis ader je benda nak komen (dalam hati)
2.Time tgk iklan ader je aku bising utk jelaskan philosophy di sebalik iklan (dalam hati gak)
3.Time bace buku ader je hal yg aku pikir
4.Time jalan, mkn, minum,tgk orang lain mesti aku BERFIKIR

so basically i do a lotta thinking now. bukan nak berlagak yang aku terrer ke pandai ke aper ke but in a way it helps me to be a wiser and a more mature person. i dont really do that a lot in my younger days and i'm enjoying what i'm doing now. kekadang sakit gak kepala...

so we should be wondering what triggers all these? simple.. tempat saya diajar jadi MANUSIA yang membentuk dan mendidik saya jadi begini...it comes and i think it's wonderful. at first i felt like this is a burden..menyusahkan diri but i enjoy, menikmati banget semuanya now..

to have a worldview different from others really makes it difficult in the first place..but i realised to have a world view filtered by truth and rightousness is not a privilage that everyone could have...that is the problem dgn anak-anak zaman sekarang ni... i prefer to poke my nose in books or do everything else in private. the only socialising time i spend are with my loved ones.. keluarga aku...kawan-kawan strictly dekat..dan ehem ehem dot dot dot

i changed a lot i must admit... so be it that way.. semoga 2007 ni aku buat lebih banyak benda BERARTI dalam idop ni..

SOLI DEO GLORIA

p/s : Christmas 2007 was super duper cool! Minum sikit je dah weng..nampak sgt dah tua